mannersandmars

wife.mother..lover…friend.daughter..sister…crafter.reader..blogger…

Confessions of a Crazy Mother

on February 5, 2013

So it’s been a very long time since I have wrote a blog. I have wanted to several times. There were a few things burning in me that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to own up to.

First of all. I have been struggling on with my job as a mother. Most of you mother’s out there know it’s pretty serious job, one to not be taken too lightly.

I started school to become an MTE in March of 2012. It was to last for 1 year, as you see that’s coming up soon. However, in March of 2013 I will not be taking me final. My husband and I decided that my time spent stressing over school work and time management and everything else that needed to be done was taking away from our son Emmett… I was the ‘stay-at-home’ mom who was missing everything. It really sucks being right there and not seeing it. I wish someone would of warned me about this… Maybe I should of did more research before jumping in first hand.

As well, the not so recent issue of the fact that I am Fat. Yes I said it Fat, it’s no secret it’s a suit that I wear everyday, one that I wish I could just take off… Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. Once upon a time I was the 150 pound, toned and muscled athlete but that was ‘back-in-the-day.’ Now not so much.

I could sit here and list you the reasons that I got this way. Like when I was growing up I had to finish my plate, and when I went to beauty school there were no sports to keep me active so with not changing my eating habits (which clearly weren’t the best, cause I didn’t do anything different). And so on and so one…

The truth is I am pretty sure I loved food more than myself. Almost like an addiction. When the word addiction comes to mind also comes habit, compulsion, dependence, need, craving all these things are my relationship with food… Not a very healthy one at that. I am truly not that comfortable stating this aloud let alone announcing it to the world. (I am banking on the fact that my blog is new and no one really reads it lol).

Because of my food problem I am very unhealthy and need to change. In the past, I have been addicted to exercise as well… But even with all the exercising I did in the months of November, December, and January the weight didn’t come off with the work. Because I guess you can’t exercise off bad nutrition.

So I guess you can say I’m writing this blog to come clean. This is my ‘public’ commitment to eat better, healthier, and cleaner. My body is no longer a garbage dump for junk. And I am beginning to love and be more addicted to exercise again everyday. It does help that I have a sitter lined up for all the Zumba classes that I could possibly go to this month. I am in the process of getting a set workout schedule for the days that there is no Zumba, and also making a food menu… So there is no last minute I don’t know what to cook… so we will order pizza.

I originally didn’t get a blog to vent or advertise my problems, but I hope you can learn from my mistakes. I guess for the time being my blog is what it is. For now I guess it’s my journey so at the moment it’s my food and weight journey. Which you all are welcome to take part in… The more the merrier. 

~~Amanda~~

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One response to “Confessions of a Crazy Mother

  1. brittney says:

    you go girl 🙂

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